Plugged In The Hazard – Humorous Pro-Spectives On Golf

To Read Or Not To Read? To Trash Or Stash?

If Bill Clinton would write a book and call it "How To Run A Scandalous Free Presidential Term" (with a forward by Richard Nixon), some people would think he was on glue. Some people already do. Some even say he was on Monica.

If you're like me, then every now and then you'll read a book and it just won't feel right - kind of like a knee to the groin or a hammer to the forebrain. Something about it is all wrong. Sometimes it's easy to put your finger on it, and other times it misses the mark in some obscure fashion. For example, if Sandra Bernhard would write a book and call it "I'm One Of The Sexiest Women In America," I'd be inclined to challenge her on that. Others may say, "Yes you are Sandra. I certainly wouldn't kick you out of bed for eating crackers."

Golf books can work the same way. The question is always this my friend, "To read or not to read? To stash or trash?" (Shakespeare was my great, great, uncle, three times removed through two adoptions and a cloning). Of course, the chance that any one of these titles will ever make it to print are...well...not so good.

• Greg Norman - How To Get Beat, Beat Yourself, Or Just Outright Lose Major Championships When You're In Contention

• Fuzzy Zoeller - Cooking With Collard Greens And Other Sides For Fried Chicken

• Casey Martin - Comin' Through! Why My Cart Needs A Horn

• John Daly - Let's Get Pickled And Play Some Golf

• Ben Wright - Lesbians On The LPGA Tour

• Jack Nicklaus - My Beloved Lime Green Pants And Forty Years Of Nicklaus Fashion On The PGA Tour

• Kelly Robbins - How To Play Match Play

• Bernhard Langer - Knock In Those Six Footers

• Tom Lehman - Keeping Your Cool In A Ryder Cup

• Seve Ballesteros - If Only I Could Keep It In Play And Speak English

• Lee Trevino - Taking 100,000 Volts Was My Wake-Up Call

• Gary McCord - Putting On Waxy Greens

• Tiger Woods - I Used His Name In Vain

• Colin Montgomerie - I Love The American Golf Fan

• Hal Sutton - The Golf Pro's Guide To Marriage

• Jesper Parnevik - Flipping Up Your Lid Doesn't Necessarily Mean You've Looked At The Leaderboard

• Darren Clarke - Where's My Damn Exercise Bike? Oh Well, Just Pour Me A Another Pint

• Johnny Miller - I Was So Good

• Scott Hoch - Tap It In To Win

• Arnold Palmer - If My Army Wasn't Dying I Could Play Competitive Golf Till I'm 110

• O.J. Simpson - Chipping With Your Woods: It Saved My Ass More Than Once

• Chip Beck - Master The Lay-Up

• Bill Glasson - Fabio Is My Friend

• Jose Maria Olathabal - I Found My Ball

  Reading can be fun. However, be wary of those questionable titles. "How To Count A Vote," written by anyone living in Florida, or remotely associated with the state, would not go over well. "We're A Good Baseball Team," by the Chicago Cubs likely wouldn't be a best seller either. Choose well!

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