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Joey West
Golfic Oracle

One of the most intriguing aspects of golf is the correlation between a person's conduct on the course and that same person's character qualities in life and work.
You may have already noticed how golf is uniquely suited to negotiating and closing business deals. Now, using my patented system, you may determine with pinpoint accuracy the personality of your rival on the course and use that insight to further your own greater goals.
The following bits of ancient and royal wisdom are now yours to exploit:

1. If he practices and plays well on the course, he will be eager to learn and a success at whatever he tries.

2. If she doesn't cheat or fudge rules, she will be honest and reward honesty in others.

3. If he dresses appropriately on the course, he will project a positive professional image for his company.

4. If she likes to wager, she will be a bold and creative manager willing to take risks.

5. If he helps look for lost balls, he will be a good team player and always go that extra mile.

6. If she selects clubs confidently, she will be decisive and invariably get whatever she goes after.

7. If he reads greens well, he will be detail oriented and produce high quality work.

8. If she keeps her temper on bad shots, she will handle pressure well and be able to come up with quick innovative solutions to problems.

9. If he keeps a clean score card, he will be neat and systematic and will finish projects in a timely manner.

10. If she replaces divots and rakes traps, she will be conscientious, organized and ready to leave the mistakes of the past behind.

The next time you are thinking of doing business on the course, keep these rules in mind and use them to your advantage. I'm sure they'll help you as much as they've helped me. Swing 'em easy!

The Funniest Game

Bribery?
You know you're a hack when the club pro asks you to deny taking his lessons.

Born Cheater:
Did you hear the one about the pathological cheater?
-She got a hole-in-one but marked it a zero!

Dunceville:
The highest handicap a golfer can have is honesty.

Joke:
How many golfers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-Two. One to do it and another to tell him he looked up.


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